The Senior Prom: Part II

Myself, Ken and four other male friends had arranged for a limo. I had spent over $80 on a dozen roses and reservations were in place. Ken and I got fresh fades, picked up our tuxes and timed everything down to the second. Becoming more confident by the second, I began to openly gloat to my friends that tonight would be the night that I finally bagged the sea beast. I was on top of the world. And then the phone rang. "JoeJoe. I hope you don't mind but plans have slightly changed."

"What?" I asked.

The next line would prove to be the catalyst for the worst night of my young life.

"I just talked to Michelle, she is coming along with us tonight".

"W-What?" I replied.

"She picked out a dress tonight, she is going to tag along with you and I tonight".

"But...I thought" I started to say before I was interrupted. "Gotta go JoeJoe..." she said. "Well I thought that..." CLICK. I had been hung up on in mid sentence and my night of passion with the woman of my dreams had now turned into a party of three.

To make matters worse, Michelle --who Meghan annoyingly called "MEECH"-- was someone who I simply didn't get along with. Once a good friend, Michelle was nothing more than a shallow gossip who would sell a friend out without second thought. However, when you are a sea-beast you simply can't be selective when it comes to friends and Meghan turned into a completely different person when "Meech" was around.

I had been through rejections, highs, lows and an unending barrage of obstacles, so I thought to myself this was but a small hurdle standing in the way of my eternal happiness, a hurdle I would be able to leap. I put on my dux, slapped Ken five and with a dozen red roses in my hand, I headed out the door like a lamb marching to slaughter.

When I arrived at Meghan's house, I began to get a bit nervous. However, when she opened the door and the stench of mildew and urine swept across the threshold, the feeling of familiarity calmed my nerves. Literally shaking in anticipation of the smile, adoration or even slight tear on her face from the beautiful overpriced flowers I was about to present her, I stepped forward and held the beautiful bouquet towards her. She glanced at me and then glanced at the flowers for literally no more than one half of a second before throwing them on the table and walking away. No thank you, no joy, no tears.

She was wearing a bright blue gown that I would rate a .97 on the ugly scale, looking like a cross between Violet from Willy Wonka, Ogo-Pogo and the Blair Witch. "You look beautiful I said". She looked at me, eyed my tux up and down and without saying a word walked away. She disappeared for several minutes without explanation before she reappeared with her mother. "Don't you kids just look precious" squealed her mother. "Why don't we take some photos of you two together?" she continued.

"No, we don't want any" piped Meghan. Her mother looked confused and asked "Would you like me to put those beautiful flowers in some water?".

"No, they'll be fine" barked Meghan as the flowers hung over the edge of the table crushed against the corner of the wall. Suddenly the sound of honking filled the air. "MEECH!" shouted Meghan. Michelle had arrived and she ran into the room into Meghan's awaiting arms. "Hey Mom" howled Meghan, "Why don't you take some pictures of MEECH and I?". My heart was now officially touching my kneecaps, but I was persistent. I walked towards Meghan with her corsage daydreaming about holding her greasy little paw while slipping it over her wrist. As if it were in slow motion, Meghan smiled and moved towards me, I approached her as though I were floating on air, extending my arm towards hers. As we were centimeters away from touching hands, she shot her claw skywards and snatched the corsage from my hand as though it were the last mutton chop at feeding time. She handed it to Michelle who eyed it up for a moment before saying "It's kind of ugly". The two cackled together as MEECH slid it over her hand.

We soon discovered that we needed to get over to Ken's date's home where the limo was waiting. We gathered our belongings and headed to the driveway. With an '88 Ford Taurus that had just been detailed, I approached the passenger door smoothly and swung it open.

"That's ok JoeJoe, I'm driving over there with MEECH"

"That's ok JoeJoe, I'm driving over there with MEECH"

"That's ok JoeJoe, I'm driving over there with MEECH" she said. The twenty minute drive to the awaiting limo would prove to be the longest ten miles of my life, a record that would stand for all of one hour before being shattered later in the evening. I thought about turning around and going home, but I was looking forward to prom with my friends and I knew I would win Meghan over by the end of the evening so I sucked it up like a man and drove on.

After snapping more photos than I care to remember, we started piling into the limo until we were stopped abruptly.

"I'm sorry, this is a twelve person limo" said the driver, "You have thirteen people". That we did since my third wheel decided to tag along. "Well one of you is going to have to ride up front with me or else I could lose my license" explained the Kathy Griffith look a like who drove the vehicle. Meghan stepped forward. I grinned to myself, knowing that Meech was about to be sentenced to the front of the limo. "JoeJoe, why don't you ride up front" she said. The ten miles back to the restaurant up front alone would turn out to be the new longest of my life, a record I would carry with me for an entire four hours before once again being shattered. My friends and Ken were slowly starting to turn on Meghan God bless them, but I was falling into a coma of depression the likes of which I had never experienced. This was supposed to be "our night" and Meghan and I were up for hours on the phone for the last several nights talking about how great it would be, but now she seemed as though she could care less. I was devastated.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Meghan approached me and sympathetically asked me what was wrong. After being my own prom date for nearly an hour and a half, the horse-faced c-nt obviously knew "what was wrong" and baiting me into spilling my guts about the obvious was the kind of trick that only this breed of woman would resort to. I looked at her, probably wearing a bright shade of red on my face, and said "I just thought this night was supposed to be about to be about you and I". With a look of pure disgust on her face, she looked at me and said "You are SO selfish" and stormed back to MEECH where she began whispering to Michelle who then shot me a dirty glare.

At the stage in my life where I would rather mope and wallow in my own self pity than address what was bothering me, I sat in silence at the large circular restaurant table as Meghan angled herself away from me and towards MEECH for the entirety of dinner. I attempted contact with Meghan approximately three times in the next forty five minutes as we ate and she no sold my comments each time.

I was all for sparing no expense in order to ensure that it was a perfect night for Meghan, and didn't think twice when she ordered the lobster which was $30 more expensive than anything else on the menu. After two bites she said "You know Meech, I don't really like this lobster". She then asked me if it was ok if she ordered something else. "Sure Meggie" I said. She then ordered the Filet, the second most expensive thing on the menu bringing her dinner total alone to just over a bill with salad and desert. My friends all gave me looks of sympathy and a friend's date seated next to me leaned over and said "Your date sure seems like a bitch". I was hard pressed to disagree, but I bit my tongue because I KNEW this would be the girl who I would birth a litter of junior sea beasts with someday.

As dinner ended and we left the restaurant, Meghan walked beside me and said "JoeJoe, can we start over?". As though Plymouth Rock had just been lifted from my back, I sighed and said that I would love to. She apologized for ignoring me earlier in the night and explained that she just wanted Michelle to have a good night. I understood and gave her a hug as we reached the limo doors, relived to be back on track. She looked at me in silence with a look that said "I want to be with you". There was no other way to interpret it and I momentarily felt as though I was flying without wings. We sat together in the limo, she brushed up against me enough to give me a case of the happy pants and life was good.

When we arrived, I stepped out of the limo with Meghan, ready to make a grand entrance into the prom with my Sasquatch of a date. For the first time in my life, I extended my hand to her to hold. She looked at me and as the front door of the limo opened, she shrieked and ran to MEECH as though the two were reuniting after being separated for years. This would be the last I would see of Meghan for over an hour. Arm-in-arm, she and Michelle marched into prom alongside my five other friends and their dates. Dejectedly, I walked in alone.

I had a good time making my rounds and talking to friends, but each and every one asked me what was wrong. About an hour later, I passed Meghan who was on the dance floor cutting a rug almost as ugly as your mother. She motioned for me. I stalled like a dear in headlights. I knew that this was a situation I would have to deal with this evening but I was still frozen. Now don't get me wrong. I've got such hot feet on the dance floor that neighboring shimmiers have been known to melt on the spot, but I just don't fast dance in public. It's not something I enjoy as I just feel foolish doing it and I still won't dance at clubs until I have had a few drinks. Because my dignity was already long gone, I strutted onto the dance floor and began cutting a rug as I provocatively looked into her eyes. Within seconds uproarious laughter erupted from Meech and Meghan quickly joined in the fun. The two, nearly in tears walked away to get their prom pictures taken.

Now when purchasing prom tickets, I was given the option of buying pictures ahead of time at a discounted rate. I went for the option and as was tradition, they were put in Meghan's name. So what did my enchanted sea-beast do? She took Michelle to the photo area and used the voucher for the photos I purchased to take each and every purchases photo with Michelle.

By this point, I was honestly in some of the lowest spirits of my life, feeling the kind of pain only comparable to that you experience when gazing into the nearest mirror. I felt noxious, enraged, weak and pathetic all at the same time. I disappeared into the back by myself for about ten minutes to regroup. After about five minutes of self-pity, Ken came around the corner to ask me how things were going. It was obvious how poorly things were indeed going so I didn't need to say much for Ken to understand. Being the standup guy that he is, Ken then gave me the greatest pep talk of my young life. After listening to Ken, I was a new man. No longer pathetic, no longer vulnerable. As though coming out of a huddle, I slapped Ken five, tossed my drink on the ground and marched into the ballroom for the final dance of the evening. My fortunes were about to change, and there was nothing anyone could do about it...

To be continued…..